It is often asked how men should look at women.  But this question contains a critical error in an assumption about our modern culture.  Men do not look at women, for we are a society lacking the men to do so.  When it comes to finding a working understanding of gender equality, we must first look at what defines man and woman.  All too often though, this discussion falls into the hands of women rights reformists and those seeking a rise in women’s power and role in society—a step up on the social ladder that has been historically dominated by their male counterparts.   It is all the more unfortunate then that this modern drive for discovering true feminism has become self-defeating by revoking the necessary guides towards authentic manhood.

Chivalry, at one time, was man’s rulebook.  For hundreds of years, boys lived in the shadows of true masculinity.  With knights, kings, and fathers to look up to, boys quickly learned the faces of man.  As leaders, warriors, lovers, and friends, boys grew into manhood understanding strength, courage, respect, and identity.  This isn’t to say that the biological drive of lust and desire never compelled men toward bestial behaviors, but the integrity of manhood was always preserved by this metaphysical power of masculine enlightenment.

During the eighteenth century, through ideas of democracy and equality, it became apparent to women that they were underrepresented by history.  All the great writers and artists were men.  Women are rarely even mentioned in the Bible and other religious texts.  Assessing their current state, women began pointing to the historically grandiose symbols of man as the impetus of their oppression and vowed to fight for freedom.

Two hundred years have passed and feministic principles have turned the tides for gender equality.  No longer exists the era of kingship and knighthood.  It is women who dominate the society of social symbolism.  Girls today can admire woman leaders in all walks of life, from politics and law to business and medicine.  They have resources on womanhood written by women and programs encouraging a stronger feminine presence in the sciences and engineering.  Many children are now being raised by single mothers demonstrating the power of the woman. And as these symbols manifest into the faces of womanhood, the role of women in society will continue to strengthen.

Men have lost their identity.  They have become softened by the increasingly feminized culture, being raised to believe in gender equality as a principle of sameness.  To worsen this masculine crisis, no king serves as the symbol of leadership, no warrior as the symbol of courage and protection, and for increasingly many, no father to demonstrate ideals of love, respect, and friendship.  Today, the boy latches onto the sport’s superstar, in the media’s eye for engaging in sexual affairs or acts of abuse, as his representation of authentic manhood.   There is no modern masculism, and thus no man.  Is it really any wonder then that boys have fallen back into their biology?

True men do not need to be trained to look at women with respect.  Rather, the very fact that men have increased the rate of women objectification indicates the need for a new male revival.  Feminists must understand that if they are to achieve equality, the must recognize the very differences that make them women and allow men to rediscover themselves.  Men do not need women leaders to look up to, they need authentic men who lead with dignity as their models of identity.  Men need literature, guides, art, and culture that represents their intrinsic position as providers and protectors.  They need to be reminded what it means to be a man.  And once they remember who they are, they can begin to view women with respect as different, but equal members in the race of humanity.